If, say, 20 years ago someone would have told me that I would be where I am today, or that I would have had to face what I had to face, (and lived to tell about it) I definitely would not have believed them. I was a shy, sheltered housewife raising 6 kids and living in a situation that kept me unhappy and depressed, I couldn’t see a way out. I think the only thing I had going for me is my faith.
My life has taken so many turns, including a separation in 2008, return to college in 2009, 2011 saw my graduation from college, passing state boards, starting a full-time job outside of the home and divorce finalization; 2014 was my darkest year in the loss of my sweet son John… The whole following year is a blur, not many memories, a new job in 2015 (that I love) and marriage in 2017 to a wonderful man.
It is on track to say; you really don’t know how strong you are until you are faced with a situation that you didn’t expect. Strength comes from the inside, a conscious decision to face each day with a passion, fire and determination… not only to live, but to be happy while living. Now I admit, not everyday is happy for me, my emotions are as inconsistent as a wave in the ocean. I never know how hard they will come crashing down, how I will react or how I will get through a circumstance. I do know that a loving family and support system in my friends surround me. I know that I can make the choice on how my day starts or ends. I can choose to wallow in self-pity or live a life my son would be proud of me for. I have children who watch my steps and look to me for reassurance. In a world that is uncertain, the one positive I have, is I am in control of what I do, think, feel, eat or say.
Happiness can be elusive. The choice is yours, if you are unhappy, do something to fix that. You aren’t meant to be here and be unhappy. If it is your weight, you control what you eat or actively do, change it and make yourself proud. If it is your job, there are plenty more out there, find a new one. Surround yourself with a support system that will cheer you on to your goals, do not let anyone sabotage your success. Most importantly you have to realize NO ONE can make you happy, happiness has to come from within. Learn to stop and find the beauty in a situation, place or person.
I have found that one of the hardest things to do is love ourselves. Learning to love and appreciate what a beautiful person you are will set you up for success. Take the time each morning to compliment yourself on a feature, an action, achieving a goal, etc…Once you learn to love yourself and know you are worth loving, then you can offer it to others. At least this is from my perspective and what I have encountered in my lifetime. In time of need, let others love you, it is there, I guarantee it. Be open to seeing the beauty in life and in others. God leads people into your life for a reason, appreciate it for a lesson or for a lifetime.
I am thankful for the strength I have found buried in me and for learning to love myself. This has enabled me to directly or indirectly encourage or inspire others. I never imagined I would be where I am today as a RN, working full-time; a personal trainer, a health and wellness coach, an author, a speaker, a grieving mother. So many emotions… but the best of all is love and in that I find happiness.